Praetor TLX of Vice's Journal
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
11:49PM - PMI Music Battalion review
BT - These Hopeful Machines
Genre: Electronica, pop, breakbeat
Rating: 2 out of 5
We all know tl;dr, tl;dw. This is perhaps the first time I can ever say an album is TL;DL. BT has outdone himself with These Hopeful machines, and not in the good way. With 2 discs containing 6 songs each, each song being over 6 minutes, some even 12. While many electronic songs with that length have an epic feel to them, most tracks on THM fail to do so. The genre gets a bad rap for being repetitive as it is, and this album doesn't help reinforce that stigma. Pretty much the breakdown goes like this: Soft intro, breakbeat or 4 on the floor beat for 342343 minutes, stutter edit breakdown, ambient "pure moods" outro (thunderstorms, etc).
Wash rinse repeat, save for the obligatory BT soft rock track. While perennial BT masterpiece Movement in Still Life's track "Satellite" was a BT rock track, it worked mainly because it didn't last for an unbelievable 11 minutes. And why is BT's 5 year old daughter singing to me in "Forget Me"? BT we're sorry that your daughter got kidnapped by your crazy ex wife, but that doesn't mean I want to hear a 5 year old singing. I remember last time that happened:
The PMI makes sacrifices for you all by reliving the horror of that song. The horror......
On a positive note, this album has 2 great songs, albeit TOO LONG, but worthy of the BT label, "The Light in Things" and "Rose of Jericho".
I find it funny that BT's recent album qualities are reflective of the state of electronic music as a whole. 2003's Emotional Technology, 4 stars. 2006's This Binary Universe, 3 stars. And this, 2 stars. I can go on and on about how electronica is being dulled down to hell, but I won't make this review tl;dr. BT can do better, and he has.
Friday, March 26, 2010
4:06PM - NEW TERMS
Farfulnugen PW is a german gnome, who, as such, decides to randomly change your password and or username on a website, thus ruining your shit. Even though you KNOW you are entering the correct password/username, or even if you have it stored, it's all for naught, as Farfulnugen PW has already scrambled it. Farfulnugen PW works in tandem with his partner, the elusive Forceps the Pen Narwhal, in ruining your office effiency level. If confronted by Farfulnugen PW's evil deed, simply request the password be sent to your email. You will then confirm that the password is what you have been entering the ENTIRE FUCKING TIME. Once the password is sent to your email, Farfulnugen PW realizes his dirty deed and runs away. You will then be able to access your shit. Here is a rare photo of Farfulnugen PW:
Acute Populosis, as such, is a chronic infection experienced by many people who traverse the internet. Specifically those who wallow around on message boards. This infection when spread to the brain, causes the user to believe that anything popular, must suck. When confronted as to why they think something sucks, the infected will nonsensically ramble on about topics that have little to do with the matter at hand: why do you think this particular movie/game/album/show/breakfast cereal/band sucks. The argument will usually fall in favor of the defender, when it is revealed that the popularity of the said medium is the reason why the infected claim it sucks. The infected will often use the mantra of "they/he/she sold out", whilst not really knowing a) what selling out is, and b) that the world, at the end of the day, revolves around money, not them. Sometimes though, the infected may be caught INDULGING in that which they think sucks. When confronted with the inevitable question, they may answer "I was just confirming how much it sucks." Right. The brain of those infected with acute populosis has degenerated to a degree as such that they cannot be reasoned with, and should be confined to the forums, where they can, and will, live out the rest of their natural lives. The follwing is a picture of someone who is possibly suffering from acute populosis:
Monday, March 8, 2010
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Welcome to the FIRST annual PMI video game awards, the NEWEST wing of the coveted Paul Media Institute!!! Tonight, honors will be given to video games in 5 different categories: Best Game of 2009, Best Game of decade, Best Moment of 2009, Best DLC of 2009, and the Lifetime Achievement Award. The qualifications for these awards are that the PMI must've actually played these games. IF you feel a game was overlooked, please notify the PMI and recommend that the PMI, glory be to it, play the game, and or explain why it wasn't nominated if in fact it did play it.
Tonight's first award is.....
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Wednesday, March 3, 2010
And we're back with the second half of the prestigious, controversial, and glorious
PMI TV awards for the 2000s decade! Tonight we cover the top 10 heroes and villains, the lifetime achievement award, and the long awaited show of the decade award!! The PMI has decided to make tonight's awards SPOILERS FREE. The PMI shows MERCY upon those stragglers who have yet to see this pristine shows. Glory to the PMI. The nomination prerequisites were that the show must've been aired in the last decade, even if it started in the 90s..
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Tuesday, February 23, 2010
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN welcome to the PMI AWARDS for TELEVISION!!! Tonight we celebrate the best shows of the past decade. Tonight 4 different awards will be presented: Best show of 08-09 season, Best show of decade, Shows that were good at first but became shit (degeneration award), and the top 10 heroes and villains of the TV decade. DISCLAIMER: The PMI only nominates shows that were watched and scrutinized by the administration of the PMI. The PMI welcomes any input by others with shows they would've nominated. With that being said, Gilmore Girls won't be seen on any ballot tonight. Spoilers, as much as we'd like to avoid them, may be possible in tonight's show. The nominees will be posted before commentary, if that's a show you have yet to see AND want to see, I'd recommend skipping the commentary. THIS INCLUDES VIDEOS. We will state that, since only the BEST will be posted tonight, you should have seen these already. As far as the degeneration award, I might save you your precious time and money.
AND YOUR HOST, THE ONE, THE ONLY, THE ALMIGHTY.....
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Sunday, January 24, 2010
It's that time of year again, where people from the music business gather from around the world to celebrate the glory of the PMI, the Paul Media Institute, the successr to the late great PFI, and that which has 142321423321 times more credibility than the oscars, emmys, grammys, and spike tv video game awards combined. The PMI is that which you look forward to every year. The PMI is that which knows no bounds. First up this year is the music awards. The video game awards will happen on Valentine's day (bummer), the TV awards on President's day weekend, and movie awards will occur on Oscar night as to beat them in the ratings.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE PMI MUSIC AWARDS OF 2009!!!!! With your host.......
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Monday, November 30, 2009
A storm has been brewing on the horizon, a new series of days of kings beckons, and with it shall come a whole new slew of nomenclature, to make your life that much more diffcult, in this, the great recession. Today, 2 all new agents of nomenclature were cast down by the KINGS, as such.
This has happened to EVERYONE who's ever been injured, have back problems, disability, etc...
Everytime your back hurts, or you cant move for whatever reason, a magical force from beyond must take everything from your hand and drop it on the floor, thus making you go through excruciating pain to pick said object(s) back up. This never fails.
The past few weeks since I've had my pinched nerve, I've dropped 242452342452354egejerh35255r254rt things. The best one was this morning, I had food, office stuff, etc in my hands,getting out of the car at work. I drop my FUCKING keys. I almost started crying. I then detected an agent of nomenclature, since I rarely dropped anything BEFORE I had my back problems. This is due to Newton's Nomenclature coming and making gravity 10 times more powerful than usual, causing you to inexpicably drop shit, when you are physically barely able to pick it up, as such.
The little Nomenclature that could
This NEVER fails, ever. This is probably in the top 5 of nomenclatures that bring my fucking piss to a boil. Anyone who lives or works in Miami Springs, Medley, Hialeah, and the international/dolphin mall region knows this agent of nomenclature very well.
Everytime you're in a rush to get somewhere, which is pretty much 24/7 in fucking Miami, you WILL get stopped by the train. The 2 worst offending trains being the Okeechobee/South River Drive/North Royal Poinciana train, and the 12th street train by international/dolphin malls.
The train will ONLY come when you are in a rush, late for work, late for your own wedding, wife is in labor, etc. This is a guarantee.
Not only will you be caught by the LNTC, the LNTC will be 10 miles long. Then it will for no reason STOP. Then it will go in REVERSE, then it will stop again, and go forwards, then stop again. Empires have RISEN AND FALLEN in the time it takes the LNTC to finally pass by. THIS HAPPENED TO ME THIS MORNING. I got out of the car and did a jig.
By the time it's gone, you've been fired from work, your wife has had a breech birth in the back of your brand new car, you missed the ball drop on new years eve, missed the season premiere of Lost, had your electricity shut off for not paying your bill, and gotten sued for negligence by your former employer, you carve into your dashboard "Brooks was here", then hang yourself.
Oh, and you can't take any shortcuts around the LNTC. There are no shortcuts in Miami, especially around Doral, Medley, Miami Springs, Hialeah, etc...
The LNTC makes THIS train seem pale in comparison:
Monday, May 25, 2009
Friday, February 6, 2009
1:37PM - ATTN members of The Wall
Starting next wednesday, 2/11, we are initiating a guild lottery!
What is this idea you say?
It works like this: Every week those who wish to participate put 5g into the GB. On wednesday nights at 11pm server time, I will have a drawing. I will use an offline random number generator (1-100). I will give out the number on the party/raid chat. Everyone who contributed will then roll ONCE random 1-100. Whoever matches the exact number will win the jackpot! If nobody matches the exact number, the jackpot will rollover to the next week's drawing!
For the first drawing, I am personally donating 100g to get it started, so wednesday night's jackpot is 100g. For the first drawing, nobody has to buy in. It will be a proof of concept drawing.
After the first drawing, it will become a parimutual drawing, meaning the jackpot is the gold that everyone buys in collectively. Only those who buy in can participate. We'll know who buys in based on GB logs :D
5g is the buy in. (Except for the very first drawing which I'm donating, to show everyone an example of how it works)
Only those who buy in get to roll. Rick and I will know based on GB logs.
If nobody wins, the jackpot rolls over to the next wednesday. Example: the jackpot is 455g, nobody wins. 455g will be added to the following week's jackpot (again depending on how many people buy in).
Participation is NOT required. Nobody is forcing you to.
Participants MUST be online and IN our group for the drawing (wednesday nights at 11pm). As we are using random 1-100, we must be in a party or raid group to determine a winner. If you know you can't be online on the night of the drawing, don't buy in that week. NO REFUNDS. If you are online but doing something else you can't or don't want to get out of, you can't be refunded either. Just pretend it's a guild raid night except our raid involves rolling on gold, and Mark and Ileana don't have to QQ how their DPS sucks.
In the event that 2+ people roll the jackpot number, the jackpot will be divided therin.
The more people who buy in, the larger the jackpot!!!!
You must roll the exact number to win the jackpot. Not the closest to, but the EXACT number.
Winners and payouts will be announced in the MOTD. Look out for it.
Don't give me the gold, stop being lazy and put it in the GB so we can see who's buying in.
At 11pm wednesday nights I will be inviting to a party/raid all the people who bought in. We will then meet up in Orgrimmar for the roll (Org, because not everyone can go to Dalaran). Turn off trade chat please :) I will port 70+ people back to Dalaran afterwards. I'm so pious.
If you do win, I will take the jackpot from the GB and give it to you personally. If you're not online I will mail it to you.
Failure to adhere to the rules will result in the breaking of legs by the Kirin Tor mafia.
PST me, Nessaja, if you have any questions.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
4:28PM - Ebay
Attention regular patrons of my blog: This link has been posted on Ebay and is related to a neutral feedback left for me by a buyer.
I was left neutral feedback by ebay buyer bchamber8527, for transaction # 170264986387. I was the seller.
Buyer paid with paypal on Wednesday September 24th. I shipped package Thursday September 25th via UPS Ground, which CLEARLY states takes 1-6 BUSINESS days. Buyer resides in Connecticut, which by my estimations is about a 4 business day delivery from Miami, FL.
I receive email from buyer MONDAY stating that since he has not heard from me he will cancel the order the next day. What buyer fails to realize is that I marked the item as SHIPPED, and if he knew how to use eBay he'd know how to figure that out. Also claims he sent a previous email (of which I NEVER received). I send buyer UPS tracking number. Did I mention shipping was FREE for the buyer?
Buyer receives package and proceeds to leave me neutral feedback on Wednesday 10/1 stating: "Seller never acknowledged my order. Sent 2 emails before he responded."
The order was acknowledged when I marked it shipped and accepted the paypal payment. Order acknowledgment is NOT something inherent on ebay. Furthermore I only received one email, not two, and I responded with the UPS tracking number IMMEDIATELY upon receipt of "second" email. I also don't appreciate threats of "cancellation". How do you "cancel" an auction win a mere 4-5 days after it's over anyways? Buyer needs to learn how to eBay.
So, in summation, after buyer pays for auction with free shipping, I ship the very next day, buyer receives package 4-5 business days later AS PER NORMAL, and it's still not enough for him. I've been on eBay for almost 10 years (this is one of my alternate accounts) and this is the very first frivolous feedback I have ever received. I'd like to add I have 54 positive feedbacks on this particular account, and those 54 customers' orders were handled in the SAME manner as bchamber8527. Thus, my feedback speaks for itself.
I just checked the UPS tracking and it was delivered today (wednesday), 1 week after auction's end and buyer's payment. I'd say that's pretty good. I'd also like to add that it took an extra day to deliver because buyer gave me a rural address:
Delivery Area Surcharge
Package 1: Delivery Area Surcharge - Rural
I'd ALSO like to add that the buyer sent me an unconfirmed address to ship to, which completely slipped past me (my fault). I CLEARLY state on ALL my auctions that I do NOT ship to unconfirmed addresses as I have been frauded by buyers in the past.
Link to auction:
1 to 6 business days*
*Sellers are not responsible for service transit time. This information is provided by the carrier and excludes weekends and holidays. Note that transit times may vary, particularly during peak periods.
Buyer obviously needs glasses.
I'll update this entry if I get more info.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
10:25AM - WANTED
Jose Antonio Susie Barbier Boza is wanted for the GRAND crime of violating our precious amendment prohibiting the consumption of the evil liquid known as "alcohol". Please exercise caution as Jose is considered ARMED and DANGEROUS. His weapons of choice are Apple macbook Pro, dual Nvidia Geforce 456424234e=mc2, and a BB gun. Jose is known to frequent the Doral area, as well as the west Kendall region. It is known he has stashes of alcohol at his house which he will defend to the death. There is a $25 reward for his capture and subsequent prosecution, sponsored by Microsoft Corp.
Posted April 15th, 1923.
Wait that can't be right.
Posted April 15th, 2008. Jose's 26th birthday.
Friday, April 4, 2008
11:34PM - bjhvjcjh cyuxckuj
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
10:33PM - Sudden death!
Microsoft Xbox360 Halo 3 limited edition with special themed controller and headset. Comes with original box too. I'm including the Composite/component cables, and Controller charger that came with the system. The system comes with an HDMI port and ethernet port. The Pro (white) doesn't come with an HDMI port, only the Halo 3 and Elite (black) models do.
This particular model is NO LONGER IN PRODUCTION, so it'd be cool to have one I guess lol. It also has a 20GB hard drive.
I will also include:
Halo 3 game
Kameo: Elements of Power game
Gamestop warranty (expires september)
Used retail value for everything: $500.
I'm putting it on Craigslist tonight for $400.
NEW LOWER PRICE EXCLUSIVELY FOR MY FRIENDS: $360
MY GOD WHAT A DEAL, YOU GET A 360 FOR $360, PLUS TWO 5 STAR GAMES!!!!
HURRY BEFORE IT GOES!
Thursday, March 27, 2008
3:46PM - FOR SALE
Microsoft Xbox360 Halo 3 limited edition with special themed controller and headset. Comes with original box too.
I will also include:
Composite and component cables.
Halo 3 game
Kameo: Elements of Power game
HD-DVD add on with Xbox360 media remote and King Kong HD-DVD.
The following HD-DVDs:
Full Metal Jacket
The Italian Job
Planet Earth (SOLD)
Pitch Black (SOLD)
Also includes the Gamestop warranty which expires in September.
EVERYTHING works fine, no red rings, no plague, no SARS, no problems. God forbid something happens to it, the FULL warranty on it is covered by Gamestop until September.
Suggested retail value: over $700
My price to strangers: $500
SPECIAL PRICE TO CIRCLE OF FRIENDS: $450
SPECIAL PRICE TO CIRCLE OF FRIENDS: CONSOLE AND GAMES ONLY (no hd-dvd stuff): $400.
Paul's generosity knows no bounds, offering a package worth over $700 to his glorious friends for only $450! If nobody I know bites, I'll put the package on craigslist or ebay for $500 plus shipping.
I take cash only, must be paid in FULL. No installments. I get cash, you get package. First come, first served!
Offer expires Tuesday April 22nd, 2008. After that I will put it online for sale.
You may email me, IM me, or contact me on myspace if interested. If you personally know someone who's interested, let me know.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Friday, March 14, 2008
11:33AM - AWESOME
Sunday, February 17, 2008
1:47AM - Stardust
Everyone reading this who knows Austin Blake.
He is now to be referred to as "Stardust".
story coming soon.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
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